Story of a Recovered Addict | Addiction, Recovery & Sobriety - How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind, Heal Your Trauma, and Become a Spiritual Leader.
Hi Spiritual Superstar!
Did you know that one in three people is touched by addiction?
Did you know that some stats are showing that 9 out of 10 people are dealing with codependency relationship addiction?
In this week’s podcast, one of my clients shares her story - Confessions of a Recovered Addict.
My clients went from being an addict to a spiritual leader.
She is sharing her trauma and healing journey.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How her addiction began in Mind
- How to spiritual psychology measures trauma slightly different than traditional psychology
- The two keys she attributes to her recovery
Weekly Community Update:
This week in the Soulciété, we are embodying The Universal Law of Action
This week in the Business Mastery, we are doing Coaching Hot Seats 🚀
This week in Spiritual Psychology Coach Certification & E4 Trauma Method®, we are diving deep into Subconscious Reprogramming
And, in the upper divisions, we are mastering leadership and metaphysics of mind
Join me for a free Breakthrough Call Wednesday www.soulciete.com
>>> listen to the new episode. [Approx. 30 minutes]
Dr. Erin is a World-Renowned Doctor of Divinity, Founder of New Thought Global & Soulciété, Metaphysical Teacher, TV Host of Good Morning LaLa Land, Creator of E4 Trauma Method®, International Best-Selling Author, 2020 Walden Wisdom Award Next to Oprah, Self-Made Millionaire, Top-Rated Podcast, and Mother.
Her mission is to awaken a billion people globally by developing, training, and certifying accredited Spiritual Entrepreneurs, E4 Trauma Method® Coaches, Spiritual Psychology Master Coaches, Spiritual Practitioners, New Thought Teachers, and Doctors of Divinity.
Dr. Erin is committed to bridging spirituality, science, and psychology. She is forging ‘New Thought Wisdom’ in the study of Spiritual Psychology; the study of how everything is created from Source at a soul level.
“11 Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram” - Forbes
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Lindsay Carricarte:
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Podcast
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Transcriptions:
(00:00):
If you or someone, you know, has ever dealt with addiction, you definitely wanna listen to this podcast. It has stated that as many as nine outta 10, people are dealing with a level of addiction in their relationships. And as much as 10% of people have dealt with a drug or alcoholic issue, the reality is that we all are touched in some way by addiction. And if you're listening to this podcast, you most likely are interested in understanding about spiritual psychology and how to make an impact with people that you love, or maybe even make it into a career. So you definitely want to listen to this podcast to understand and know what's possible. Welcome to the Dr. Erin podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma birth, your soul's purpose, and manifest your dreams. Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, Dr. Divinity. I'm committed to bringing you the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I'm here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are, and I believe in you together. We're awakening the world.
(01:12):
Hi, my soul family. I am beyond excited to dive deep today into a special, special podcast. So if you have been binging my podcast, you will know that I've been doing a solo podcast for some time now. And part of the reason why was because I had the show good morning, LA land, and I interviewed 3,600 people on that show. And so when I began the podcast, I actually had no other intention of just having it be a creative expression for me to express the incredible teachings that we teach in metaphysics and universal law and spiritual psychology and all that stuff. But guess what? It's a new chapter and I am beyond excited. I'm getting chills right now because I, I wanna bring you more story. I wanna bring you the heart. I wanna bring you podcasts that have you get chills that have you realize and have a revelation that has you transcend and transform by knowing truth.
(02:09):
And how do we know truth? The best is by story by actually experiencing someone's life and seeing them transcend and transform the dark into the light. So today I am so honored because this first guest is such a love. So Lindsay, Kara carte is an incredible leader in society. She has personally touched my heart in such a way, because I have witnessed her go through such a transformation, but I saw her commitment from the very first day I met her and who she is today is somebody that touches so many lives. She has a podcast herself on sobriety and a bunch of stuff, but we're gonna go all through that. But what I want to do is I want her to share her story so that whoever is listening to know that wherever you are in your trauma, no matter what you've gone through in this life, if Lindsay can do this, you can do this. So today is confessions of a recovered addict. Hi Lindsay, how are you?
(03:17):
Hello? Hello, Dr. Erin and community. So happy to be here. Thank you.
(03:23):
So I, I want you to share your heart with me and the community today. And I don't even know if I've heard your whole story from your childhood all the way through the trauma that you experienced and kind of the dysfunction that you know, I know you and I, and all of us have gone through, right? I want, I would love for you to really paint the picture for us of where you came from. Where did you grow up? How did the trauma start? What were those incidences for you and how did you come to deciding that you wanted to heal? And then of course, after that, I want you to take us through actually what it was to help you transform in doing that inner deep work. So tell me, where do you grow up? Where are you actually from?
(04:09):
So I grew up in PAC Kong, New Jersey. Um, both of my parents were together and I was the middle of three children. I had an older sister and I have a younger brother. It was a small town. I went, I started school and we had a lot of nature around us. And I was, my childhood was by any external standards. It was comfortable. My dad worked hard. He was gone most of the week. He commuted and he made decent money. So we were relatively comfortable and he would always put us first when it came to money. So we always had stuff and we always had experiences. And my mom was home when we were younger. So she was a stay at home mom. She was always there. She was able to, you know, be there cooking dinner and have us, you know, eating together as a family. And, but I also found it challenging. And I found that my dad's anger and his rage and his drinking would really affect me.
(05:13):
So take me there, take me to one incident that you remember as a child, take me there.
(05:19):
So I'm five years old and I'm hiding in this hallway closet of our house with my sister. And there's this, there's this slanted wooden floor. Cause the hallway is above the stairs that go down. So there's this slanted floor and I'm behind all of these winter coats and it's dark. We're hiding in there as my parents are fighting and I can just hear it's muffled, but my parents are right in the living room and it's, it's quiet at first. And at first it was like a joke. We were hiding in there and, and it was meant to be something funny. And so we're still kind of giggling, but then I hear my dad and his voice is raising. And, and there's just, there's something about his tone that as I'm there and I'm behind the coats, I can, I can hear in his tone and I am sitting on the floor of this closet, holding myself up and I can feel that my whole body starts to just tense up because I, I know it's coming.
(06:23):
I know that anger's about to come. And the next thing I know, it's like the, the damn opens and he's yelling and he's cursing at my mom and they're fighting about money again. And I just, you know, I hear every few words and, and he's yelling at her about these fucking kids and you spend money on this and I'm just contracting more and more. As I'm sitting in this closet, it's already a tight space. And, and my older sister's next to me and all of a sudden what was meant to be fun and games becomes like this, this like claustrophobic prison. And, and I can feel my own tension because everything in me is like, just, we have to be quiet. I have to be quiet. You can't know we're in here. You can't know we're in here. And as I've been listening to them fight, and I'm listening to him, yell at my mom, I'm, I'm getting Angerer and angrier.
(07:19):
And there's a very real part of me that wants to bust out and yell at him. But I'm five. And I absolutely know it's not safe for me to be angry at him because I've learned what happens when that happens. So I shut it down. I shut down my anger. And as I'm sitting in there with her, I'm just feeling more and more powerless. And in that moment, I feel like I hate my dad. I hate, I hate him. I hate the way he's talking to her. And I think we ended up sliding down the floor and the door opens. So then all of a sudden his attention turns to us. And as his attention turns to us and he starts directing his rage at us and he's yelling, you fucking kids, and it's always something and hemorrhaging money and money's going in faster than I can make it. And he's just so pissed and angry. And my mom tries to, she says, it's not their fault, not their fault. And she puts her hand out and he then just unleashes on her again. Oh, sure. You're always defending her. And I'm just frozen. You know, I'm just frozen in that moment as this child where I just, I wanna fight. I wanna run. I wanna get angry.
(08:33):
Lindsay, what did you decide about yourself in that moment?
(08:36):
Yeah, that I'm just, I have no fucking power. I have no power. I have no control. I hate my parents. It's my fault. Yeah.
(08:46):
Thank you. Here you are. You have a somewhat what you would consider a normal family for whatever that is. You have some traumas that are going on early. How old were you when that first one began?
(09:00):
I would say probably four or five. Maybe six at the most. Yeah. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but I remember the fighting, like from, from the get go.
(09:07):
So it happened all the time. It was, it was consistent. Yeah. Okay. And then, and we're, you know, as we know, we're talking about, you know, Ace's adverse childhood experience type of things, right. And as Lindsay knows, we don't necessarily in spiritual psychology, you know, say that there's big traumas and little traumas. What we really look for from a spiritual perspective and from a sole perspective is what was the imprinting that happened within Lindsay? What decisions did she make about herself? What divided perspective, what happened? So, Lindsay, tell me a little bit about how you see what happened from here. Take us through it again, really about like where you went from here. You were, you grew up, you were having dysfunction in the family, obviously some really tumultuous arguments. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so then what happened? What happened from there?
(09:52):
Yeah. Well, from that moment, I think that it really was, I just decided I was powerless. So as I went through my li the rest of my life, I was just constantly, I was a great student and I was just so capable in school and I really liked school. And my first place of, I guess, escape or addiction was probably books. So I would just lose myself in books and I would drown out the world in books, um, because it just was like, I never felt comfortable. I never felt at ease. And it, there was a very, you know, you say the divided perspective. Right. And when I really think back from within me, it's like that divided perspective was always there because it was like my intuition, my inherent knowing was like, you know, this is, this is a problem. This is dysfunctional. Or, you know, whatever, whatever you wanna call it.
(10:45):
I mean, now I can, you know, obviously I see the perfection in all of it, but at the time I, there was, it was a problem. But on the outside, I was constantly being told how great my family was. Right. Because we materially had things and both of my parents were there. And, um, a few years after that, we ended up moving onto a lake house. Right. So on the outside, there was very much this picture of, oh, this is a great family. And so I started making myself more and more wrong for how I felt about my family, because I was angry. <laugh> makes, I was, makes sense. So angry at them. Yeah. <laugh>
(11:24):
So take us in the timeline. So here you were at young when you really realized and had some, obviously big kind of traumas, if you will, of decisions and things, and then what happened you, so you dived into school and then what happened? Timeline wise, like where, what began in your life? What was, what was going on?
(11:43):
I would say, yeah. So all through middle school, timeline wise, all through middle school, I continued my great grades on a role gifted and talented cheerleading, gymnastics, softball. I was just doing all the things. And then right about seventh or eighth grade, I just completely took a U-turn, you know, and I can remember, I remember sitting there in my English class and looking at my teacher and just feeling so angry and just being like, I don't care anymore. I don't care anymore. And I just stopped doing my work and I stopped handing in my assignments. And, you know, in hindsight, I know it was because I was just going the reverse rebellion. But at that moment, I just was like, I don't care anymore. And I started rebelling and I, I remember I stole my first pack of cigarettes right around into eighth grade and smoked them in the woods with one of my friends.
(12:41):
And it was like this thrilling experience where I was doing what I wanted for the first time. And very quickly from there, it just kind of snowballed as I moved into high school and I got more and more rebellious and I just fell more deeply into this identity of I don't care. And it's kind of wild because even through high school, when I was like, I don't care, there was a very real part of me that wanted to go back to doing the sports and the good grades and the things that I loved, because I really did love that stuff. But this other part of me was more in control. And, and I spiraled through, I, I, I fell into like the punk rock music scene. And so that music just fueled my anger at society and my anger at my parents. And I just started really pushing everybody away.
(13:33):
And the whole spiral of drug use, you know, it started with the alcohol would steal booze or beers out of, you know, our parents' liquor, closets and progressed to marijuana. And then it progressed to hallucinogens and then it progressed to cocaine. And then once I graduated high school, I fell in with a crowd who was all doing heroin. And at first, when I started hanging out with those people and I was dating one, and he was like, my second boyfriend ever. And I, he was older than me. His name was Dave, and I just thought he was like the coolest thing. And it was just another experience of me looking at this person outside of myself, like, oh, you're gonna be my savior. And <laugh> when I found out that he was a heroin addict, I actually broke up with him. And I was like, well, I can't do that. I looked at everything. I had been doing all the other drugs I was doing. And I still felt like I was in control. And I was looking at the people who were heroin addicts. And I was like, well, they're out of control. So I can't do that. I was super judgey about it. <laugh>
(14:42):
Mm-hmm <affirmative> so tell me, take us, take us then. Thank you so much for being so real and vulnerable. Cause I know that you're helping somebody out there right now. You know, if you take a look at Lindsay and, and you go, oh, she came from a decent family, you know, oh, she just may have been a bad, bad seed. And she got into drugs and alcohol or whatever. But when people really start pulling the layers back, it's important to understand how there's always a cause there's always a cause for all division of mind and, and people kind of harming themselves if you will. So take me to an incident mm-hmm <affirmative> during your alcohol or drug use. I want you to tell me what was the darkest moment for me, take me there in a virtual share.
(15:21):
So I think really it was where the, the, the split really solidified. And that was, I was about 19 years old and I was standing in my mother's bedroom. My well, my mother and fathers, they were still together. I was standing in their bedroom in our lake house and I can see the wood floor, just beautiful wood floors that they had and laid in the house. And I'm, I'm dope sick because I'm strung out. And this has been going on for about two months, but I feel completely out of control. And I'm standing in the doorway of her bedroom, nobody's home. And I make the decision that I'm, I'm gonna take her jewelry and I'm gonna go sell it in that moment that I'm standing there. I'm so torn because there's a very real part of me that doesn't want to do it. And then there's this other very real part.
(16:13):
That's like, I have to do this. I have to, I can't, I don't have a choice. And so I go and I raid her drawer and I take some of her jewelry. And in that moment, I'm just in the back of my head, I just say to myself, like, this is, this is what you've become. And in that moment, I just decided like, I am a loser and this is what I have become. And I take you to that moment because I feel like it was the moment where I just fully gave up the fight I gave up trying to even be who I really was. And I just succumbeded to that, that what I thought at the time was, you know, some dark power inside of me, but now I know it was really just me and my addiction and my path.
(17:01):
You don't know when you see somebody and the world, it can be so judgemental around addiction and somebody who does heroin and like, Ooh, that is like really dark and like stay with, they must be the devil. And like, but you need to know, like, if you're listening right now, Lindsay is, she's like literally one of the most loving human beings I've ever met, she is completely so consistent of who she shows up for as a leader as like, like, so the point is this let's not give up on our sisters and brothers out there. Mm-hmm
(17:35):
<affirmative>,
(17:35):
Mm-hmm <affirmative> I mean, truly. And truly it says right now in, even in America, that 10% of Americans are dealing with drug addiction. Okay. That's not taking into account of people that might be mildly, you know, going off the sideways or even 90%. They're saying of people that are dealing with codependency, which we're gonna dive into that more as well. The point is, this is Lindsay. Today is somebody who leads in an incredible community in society. She has a podcast, she has high end clients. She coaches, she serves she's in a great relationship. She's somebody that you would never in a million years think somebody who was doing heroin and who you are today. And this is years. It's not like, you know, she's been on the wagon for a while, right? I mean, this is amazing and you are a true Testament of what's possible.
(18:35):
And so I want you to now really talk about, obviously we've been doing E four trauma method and you are, Lindsay is trained at an E four trauma method. She's trained in metaphysics, metaphysics of mine. She's trained in spiritual psychology coaching. She is now actually in a teacher's speaker ministerial kind of law of attraction program that we have. She leads, uh, many, many women and men weekly and has tons of clients and is very, you know, who you are is, is unrecognizable, but also you're even unrecognizable for the average person. That's never even, you know, had an addiction with any kind of substance. You are way, way, way above average. So please help me and help the people listening, take us through your actual journey, through the work in society of like, what was it, what was it that really helped you really do that inner healing?
(19:31):
Definitely. I would say two things for sure. Number one, the trauma work, the E four trauma method, the subconscious we're programming has been such a catalyst. I, I, I always teach it like this, you know, it's like when we have trauma inside and in our consciousness and our bodies and we're holding it, it's like that trauma is what really creates those walls of separation within ourselves first and foremost, but then also us against the world or us feeling separate from the world. And so it's like great, because before I came to society, I was studying a lot of this stuff, but I just wasn't able to embody it because I was still in that sabotage. So when I found Dr. Aaron, when I found society and I came in here and I was exposed to E for trauma method, I was just blown away by cuz even that moment I was sharing about when I decided, okay, I'm this loser, right?
(20:27):
It's like, there was so much charge around that when I got here that I didn't even know about. And I remember it was about two months in and I was, I was going through an E four trauma method and that event came up and I, I could see, so clearly that, that had been one of the driving commands. Why I wasn't able to have success before coming in here. I was constantly sabotaging because the commanding story was I'm a loser. Mm. And so that E four trauma method, it just, it really truly creates the space. Right. It reads the garden. It, it pulls up all of those emotional, like it's like there's cinder blocks that when we have trauma and I mean, it doesn't matter, like you just said, Dr. Earn, right. It doesn't matter how big or small the traumas are. It's like those cinder blocks of emotion are in there.
(21:15):
And until we move them out, we can't put something new in. So that backed by, you know, our spiritual, our spiritual work, our spiritual practitioner work, um, just the re coming back into the reclaiming of my understanding and connection with the idea of spirit, the idea of the divine, you know, God, if you wanna call it that, whatever anybody wants to call it, I've just moved past the need to have, let it have one name because it's my understanding of spirit and that I am that right. And so it's that knowingness that I feel like, you know, spirit, God does for us, what we can't do for ourselves. And I feel like through you bringing E four, bringing your, your methods of subconscious reprogramming, bringing that to us, us then coming back into our own healing. And, and me being able to reconnect with my own divine spark, it's just creates this whole unification within me where I've just like, I've become this version of myself that I always knew was in there mm-hmm <affirmative>, but was like locked in a page.
(22:27):
What's interesting about what you said, uh, describing from doing the inner work, the trauma work and the subconscious work, and then also really having self revelation of who you are, which is interesting because we say in our line of work, which is metaphysical and spiritual, you know, deep, deep soul work that they, the answer for addiction, if you will, doesn't matter if you're a workaholic or a love addict or co-dependent, or even drug addict, doesn't matter. What matters is the answer is oneness, which is interesting. Cause that's exactly what you describe, which is oneness, which is because the addict, which of course, as you know, and all my audience knows, I went through major, major codependency and I had an agent disorder as well when I was 17 to 20. So I've dealt with my battles for sure. And feeling so alone and feeling so divided and you know, your commands as Lindsay said.
(23:21):
So what we do in E four as well is we, we really do that deep work neutralizing, those, those incidents that happen that had us decide. So we say in spiritual psychology versus psychology, psychology, mostly measures. What happened to you from everything from adverse childhood experiences? And so far, it was like, what's the big trauma versus a little trauma. And we in spiritual psychology don't necessarily measure that as much as we measure what happened in mind, we measure what decisions did Lindsay decide in those high frequent states of emotions. And you said, I'm powerless. I don't care. And I'm a loser. And I'm here to say, Lindsay, cuz I know you've declared something new. You are so powerful. And I know that you care so much of how you show up in such love and you are a leader and I'm just getting a little teary right now because this is the butterfly fight. I want you right now, out there. There's somebody listening right now. And if it's not you, maybe it's someone, you know, that's struggling with co-dependency or addiction to a substance, whatever. Please send this to them. Okay. Because if they can hear somebody like Lindsay's story, to be able to understand how dark she went and who she is today, what's possible from one person because Lindsay touches lots of people and you should check out her podcast. Lindsay, what's the name of your podcast? Sobriety.
(24:47):
Sobriety. Yeah, the sobriety, the podcast.
(24:50):
It's such a great name by the way. I love that name. It's so awesome.
(24:53):
Well, I feel like sobriety is really that's that's my Testament to this work, right? Because it really is like through, through the trauma work that we do and coming back into my own connection with spirit, it really is it, you know, sobriety like the physical sobriety from drugs and alcohol was the first step of the journey. But what I was really seeking was that connection with my soul again. And that's, that's what it's all
(25:19):
About and tell them where they can find you on social media and your website.
(25:24):
Totally. So on Facebook I'm there, you can find me Lindsay Jones or at Lynn I'm on Instagram a lot at, I am Lynn
(25:34):
So good. So I would love for you to do what I am calling a spiritual scientific prayer because I think it's time. I think it's time that the world understands that we absolutely can measure the soul. We can measure the soul by what out pictures into one's life. We call it the vibrational match, the mentally equivalent and Lindsay, I would be so honored if you would know the truth for, for us and for everyone out there that is whether they're still struggling with an addiction or whether they're just wanting to know the truth right here. And right now
(26:10):
I would love that. Thank you. So let's all just take a deep breath in together. Just really breathe into that expansion. That knowingness, as I just recognize that that truth is all around us. Just letting go, just letting go of any tension, any idea of needing to know or control or figure it out. And in this moment, I truly, truly, truly just, I recognize I feel it in every cell of my being, I know the truth and that truth is oneness. It's that we are all one. We are all the one spirit reflected here inform as these beautiful individuals that each and every one of you are that I am that Erin is that we all are. And just looking out, knowing fully to all one thing, there is no separation. The truth is one is the truth is unity. And just recognizing that the separation exists in mind and knowing that we fully perfectly created, I fully perfectly created it so that I could come into this, knowing this remembrance, this resurrection, this redemption, just coming back into the truth, which I never could have recognized if I hadn't stepped out of it.
(27:25):
And so just fully recognizing in this moment, as we see it and the cycles of nature, and we see it in the days and the nights, and we see it all around us, there is no separation looking at the trees, the leaves, the roots, recognizing there's no separation in that tree. It's all the one thing. And it's connected to the earth and it is the earth. And so too, are we just knowing fully that I am this beautiful expression of the divine mind? The infinite infinite intelligence is each and every one of you are that. And what I know to be true is that the true calling, the yearning, the desire from within your hearts and minds, that is the truth just as it was for me. And I know that right here, right now, each and every one of you, me, all of us, we are just awakening.
(28:09):
We are coming into this, knowing this, we are revealing, we are healing. And I'm so grateful to know that this truth is the truth and that it is already done. I'm so grateful to know that there is liberation, there is freedom and that desire for liberation, that desire for expression, that desire for joy and love and harmony and prosperity, whatever it is that you are desiring freedom. It is there, it is available. It is waiting for you. It's already done. It's who you are. It's who I am. And I just declared. It's done. I know it's done in my mind. It's done, it's done. It's done for each and every one of us. And I'm just in so much humble gratitude for the journey. As I look out upon the life, and I know the absolute perfection of my whole journey, I know the absolute perfection of each and every one of you that is listening to this.
(28:56):
I know the perfection of your own journeys, and I know that you're being shaped and molded and forged in the fires of whatever it is you are experiencing. And it's perfect. And by design, and what I know to be true is that you are here for a purpose and that all of the pain, all of the suffering, all of the struggle is for a purpose. It's part of your mission. It's part of your purpose. It's part of your expression and it's who you were born to be. And so right now I just declare that each and every one of you are recognizing that and remembering that and declaring that and stepping forth into that, as I say yes to you being in that expression of that, I see each and every one of you in my heart and every cell of my being, as they light up with just the chills of the knowing of truth, that if you're listening to this, you're listening to this for a reason. And it is your divine calling coming forth right here, right now for you to step into your purpose. And I'm just in so much gratitude, as I say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Knowing my word is law, knowing that I have all of the power and that is the most liberating thing ever. And knowing that I don't have to figure it out because the law does it. And I just release my word up, knowing it is done and heard. And so it
(30:02):
Is. And so it is so beautifully said, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So beautifully said so again, if you, or something, you know, is dealing with addiction, please seek medical help within society. We train and develop and help soul based entrepreneurs, coaches and leaders monetize their spiritual gifts. So we don't deal with active addiction or PTSD or mental health disorders. As a group, we do however, have trained practitioners and E four trauma method, coaches and teachers that can take one-on-ones. You can actually reach out to support@soulsociety.com where you can reach out on my social media or go to our website. And there is a tab on there to get one of our practitioners to work one on one with so on another note, I just am knowing right now, the perfection of wherever you are at in your consciousness. And I would love to invite you to a Wednesday breakthrough session with me.
(30:58):
I will put the links below, and we're gonna dive deep into how to become a certified coach and be able to make an impact in the world. I'm literally going to show you the three things that you must embody to be able to massively monetize. So I will have an event this Wednesday, you can check out the link below and we're gonna dive deep into it so that you can absolutely live your dreams, do your inner work, and absolutely make an impact in the world. Have a beautiful, blessed day. And may you live your truth?